-Matthew
So this is something I drew a while back. (It’s based on Simon, and the usual in-jokes. Please don’t take offence!).
Lise x
Progress Report
Bi-Millennial progress report on universe 3B, subsection zeta 352, designated ‘Earth’.
Dear God,
Subsection zeta three five seven has largely been quiet for the last five hundred years, although there has recently been some wear and tear on the local gas giant, incident reports put this down to material fatigue, replacement parts are on order.
The main focus of zeta three five is the planet designated ‘Earth’ by the local population, an intelligent life form called ‘humanity’. While the rest of the sector is proceeding along stable lines ‘Earth’ represents a volatile and changeable environment that requires special consideration.
You were informed in the previous reports of humanity’s rapid progress with mechanisms and industrial technology, this has exceeded all expectations, they have rapidly advanced to electronic mechanised status and have integrated technology into every aspect of their lives.
There is no unified leadership in place on Earth, it is divided into nation states (see appendix 3b) although international diplomacy has seen a marked increase since our last report there is currently no evidence of a leader figure with the necessary charisma to achieve unified government (EDIT - Recent developments cast doubt on this, request background check on subject ‘Obama’ for possible divine origins) The development of a shared information sphere, or ‘internet’ caused us some concern, but was rapidly derailed by an abundance of pornographic material, we suspect interference from the demonic branch.
Certain aggressive tendencies in the population have caused us some concern, the development of apocalyptic technology occurred far in advance of our schedule, thus far the population has been reluctant to use it, which has confused our analysis, given their liberal use of less cataclysmic armaments. I have requested several times for emergency authority to override the ‘free will’ protocol in this instance, and have been rebuffed each time, I must once again protest this judgement.
Ramifications are still being felt from the discovery of agent ‘Jesus’ as detailed four reports prior, I seriously suggest amending our observation procedures for future developing civilisations. These consequences are lasting.
The most worrying development is that the species seems to display a reluctance to stay in it’s designated zone, recently it has attempted to expand to it’s neighbouring satellite, though no action was taken at the time some sort of border patrol might be in order.
I have upgraded Earth’s priority to Sanguine Red, I feel careful attention will be required to safeguard her through the next Bi-Millennial unit.
Yours sincerely,
Gabriel.
Volcano
Things start well.
I’d look at the Alps and I’d try and make them a bit more triangular, y’know, like how you’d draw a mountain is you were 7 years old. All peaks would be snow capped.
The grass would be greener and the sky would be bluer.
Nations would suddenly start finding gold seams in the most unusual places. Poor countries reliant on labour would suddenly have more internal wealth, and more to export.
The armies of the world would be puzzled to find that every warhead they fire is a dud.
Cold fusion is suddenly discovered, it was a lot easier than previously thought. The scientific community wonders why we’d had so much trouble with it in the first place.
The poles begin to cool, the arctic refreezes. Water levels descend.
Observatory crews look up one evening to find that the constellations now actually look like the objects they supposedly represent. Orion hunts a rabbit across the sky.
All is well. Better, perhaps, than it has ever been.
A thousand years pass.
Triangular mountains aren’t appealing any more. They’re boring and predictable. Once again the weather begins to take its toll, and mountains begin to reform, decade by decade, becoming the scraggy hunks of rock they once were.
But the process is too slow. Like watching paint dry. Something else is needed.
Nearby residents begin to hear a rumbling deep beneath the earth. They notice smoke coming from a nearby peak. The village is evacuated. A day later the top of the mountain explodes. Glowing Magma flows thickly down the mountainside. The green fields are turned white with ash.
The village is destroyed but it will be rebuilt.
There’s a Monsoon in the Kalahari.
There is an earthquake in Manchester. Hardly anyone dies.
The next day an army tests a new weapon. They are shocked to see it work. The blaze the explosion ignites a forest. The smoke billows from its embers, the same dull red as the fumes above a distant rumbling volcano, ready to erupt again.
-Thom
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